{"id":1133,"date":"2026-02-06T16:16:11","date_gmt":"2026-02-06T16:16:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/?page_id=1133"},"modified":"2026-02-25T19:11:16","modified_gmt":"2026-02-25T19:11:16","slug":"john-moore-love-them-equally-treat-them-uniquely","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/john-moore-love-them-equally-treat-them-uniquely\/","title":{"rendered":"John Moore: Love them equally; treat them uniquely"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

LEGACY AND FAMILY<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Family wealth transition from one generation to the next can be complex. It brings up complicated, often painful, questions like: How do I fairly split the inheritance? Do my beneficiaries have adequate financial education? What are our family values? Can I trust my heirs to be good stewards?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

When it comes to our loved ones, it\u2019s not only okay to love them equally while treating them uniquely; it\u2019s biblical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Hebrew culture, the first-born son got a double portion of the inheritance (Deuteronomy 21:17). God allocated the promised land to the twelve tribes of Israel by population size; they were not equal (Joshua 13-21). In the book of Numbers, when Zelophehad died without a son, his five daughters went to Moses to dispute the law refusing them an inheritance. Moses brought the case to God, and God made a unique decision; he gave Zelophehad\u2019s land to his daughters (Numbers 27:1-11).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In each of these circumstances, God loved his children equally. Yet, he gave them unique inheritances based on their different circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Three-generation rule<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

A common problem exists in family wealth transition across all cultures, all tax laws, throughout time. It\u2019s known as the \u201cthree-generation rule.\u201d This rule states that, in 70 percent of families, wealth made by one generation will be lost by the third generation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In researching their book, Preparing Heirs<\/a>, Roy Williams and Vic Preisser discovered that much of this loss of wealth could have been avoided. Breakdown of communication or trust within the family accounts for 60 percent of the loss. Another 25 percent was lost because heirs were not properly prepared. Only 15 percent of this massive wealth loss was due to uncontrollable factors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But this is actually great news. It means 85 percent of the time, families can prevent becoming another example of the three-generation rule. However, it\u2019s also not <\/em>great news, because preparing heirs, maintaining trust, and communicating clearly within families is challenging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Treat them uniquely<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

As a Certified Kingdom Advisor with 40+ years\u2019 experience, I\u2019ve walked many families through the process of dividing assets and preparing future stewards. Each and every one of them has had a unique dynamic: stepfamily, differing values, health concerns, addiction, in-laws, varying interest in the family business, to name a few. There\u2019s no formula that can be applied to all families and all heirs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The patriarch of one family I worked with had remarried after his wife of 50 years passed away. He also had a family business that none of his children or grandchildren seemed interested in continuing to run after he graduated to heaven. So, the family came together and communicated openly when deciding how to transition assets to the grown children and grandchildren.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The patriarch decided to sell the business, liquidate that asset, and divide the wealth equally to each heir \u2013 second wife (who had become his main caregiver over the years), child, and grandchild. A unique, yet equal, solution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another family I worked with has three children. Their oldest son runs the family business. Their middle child has health issues that make him unemployable, and he\u2019s not financially responsible. Their daughter is married to an accountant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They decided to give their oldest son the business. They bought land, built a family compound to live on, and will eventually pass the land on to their daughter and son-in-law. And they set aside enough liquid assets to provide an income stream to their middle son, appointing a non-sibling trustee to manage distributions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The oldest son and daughter received equal shares in value, but different assets. The middle son has enough money to be taken care of, but not enough to misuse. Each child was loved equally yet treated uniquely.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another example of this is a friend of mine who has two siblings. His father insisted on splitting the inheritance equally, each sibling receiving one-third. My friend and his brother, however, knew their sister\u2019s husband was, in many regards, a better son to their father than they were. They went to their father and insisted he split the inheritance four ways, giving his son-in-law an equal portion. The inheritance was split equally, yet uniquely, according to their family\u2019s unique dynamic.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This even happened in my own family. There are four of us siblings. Toward the end of my mom\u2019s life, my sister, Donna, lived next door and was my mother\u2019s caregiver. My mother let us know that the liquid assets would be split equally, four ways, but Donna would also get her house. She loved us all equally, but she treated us uniquely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5 steps to prepare future stewards<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

In their book, Entrusted<\/a>, David York and Andrew Howell say the key to successful wealth transition lies not only in preparing the wealth for the family, but in preparing the family for the wealth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I like to say there are five steps to preparing future heirs: communicate, adjudicate, communicate, activate, and finally, communicate. Yes, I recognize that \u201ccommunicate\u201d is in there a lot. That\u2019s because communication is 60 percent of the task.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When deciding how to most wisely pass wealth to the next generation, you must start with communicati<\/strong>on<\/strong>. Maybe it\u2019s with the whole family, maybe it\u2019s just with a spouse. Make it known what the assets are, where the assets are, who are the heirs, and what are the liabilities. In most cases, keeping these things secret can cause more harm than good for a family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next, adjudicate<\/strong>. Make a formal decision. Work with a financial advisor. Put it in writing. Then (you guessed it) communicate<\/strong> your formal decision to everyone in the family. This is best done in an official family meeting<\/a>, in-person if possible. Once the plan is communicated, activate<\/strong> it. Take the necessary steps to ensure your wealth-transition plan is set up for the most success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ron Blue asks in his book, Splitting Heirs:<\/a> \u201cWhat if you left a significant inheritance to each of your adult children, and you were able to peer into their lives five years later? How might the inheritance have affected each one? Would you be pleased with your decision to treat them equally?\u201d A good way to figure out the answer to those questions now is the fifth and final step: communicate<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Preparing future stewards is more than a financial exercise; it\u2019s a relational and spiritual one. When we love our heirs equally but treat them uniquely, we reflect the heart of God and set them up for long-term flourishing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"John<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

John is the founder of John Moore Associates (JMA), a financial planning and investment advisory firm serving families nationwide from offices in Arizona and New Mexico. John completed a 10-year leadership transition at JMA in 2022 and continues to lend his wisdom to the JMA team as a consultant. He has a passion for helping his community serve others through the causes that matter to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Family wealth transition from one generation to the next can be complex. It brings up complicated, often painful, questions like: How do I fairly split the inheritance? Do my beneficiaries have adequate financial education? What are our family values? Can I trust my heirs to be good stewards?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":144,"featured_media":1138,"parent":0,"menu_order":4,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1133","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/144"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1133"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1133\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1139,"href":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1133\/revisions\/1139"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ncfgiving.com\/southwest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}