6 ways parents can encourage teens and kids toward generosity

by Eric Most

Do the children in your life know that they have access to a bottomless, overflowing well of  life-sustaining water (capital) to be spent for the glory of God? Do they see this spiritual capital is intended for not only their joy but for the joy of others, too? As Christ-followers, it’s important we think about how we can go beyond building financial capital to building spiritual capital that models generosity for the next generation. If we are to minister to our children and, in turn, want them to use their lives for generous ministry, we first need spiritual capital, or “spiritual assets” to draw from. 

Are we spending as much time thinking about building our spiritual capital for generosity as we do our financial capital? 

Building spiritual capital in our kids and grandkids starts with consistently engaging them with the Gospel and the never-ending source of our well. My kids are still young, but my wife Jacqie and I plan to use this mindset, plus a few things we’ve learned from those who have raised  teenagers, while they’re in our home. As we help them build a meaningful foundation toward thinking about others when they’re young, we can establish the groundwork for a generous lifestyle far into their future.

6 ways to encourage teens and kids toward generosity

1. Model generosity first
If we desire for our children to be generous, we must be generous first. But what if we didn’t grow up in a biblically generous home or family? We certainly can’t change the DNA we inherited, but we can do something about what we set up for the next generation. For our children to understand generosity, we must live in such a way that they look at us and say “generosity exudes out of them”. This includes the children living in your house or the friends they invite to visit. How can you build an environment where these children not only receive love, but also observe love, kindness and generosity toward others, too? Set up your home to be so radically and outwardly generous, that kids feel and notice a difference when they’re inside it.  

2. Ask them what they want to be known for
After a journalist mixed up his death with his brother’s, Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite, was stunned when his obituary referred to him as a “merchant of death.” Alfred was deeply disturbed by the thought that this was how the world would remember him. So he left his fortune to foster science, literature, and peace – and the Nobel Prizes were born. Taking the lead from Alfred, let’s ask our teens and kids what they want to be known for. What do they want their yearbook to say about them? Is it that they are rich or popular, or that they are kind and generous? Talk with them about the steps they can take to walk in the direction first modeled for us by Jesus’ extravagant generosity toward us. 

3. Serve as a family
Oftentimes we think we should shield our children from the problems of the world or that service is just for the grown ups. However, kids can be church greeters or helpers, too. Take it a step further and bring your kids along in the conversation of what needs to be changed in the world or their community. Ask them what they see that stirs their hearts and find out how to be a part of the solution. Shift the narrative from “This is something adults can do,” to “This is something everyone can do.” We can provide a lens for our kids to see the brokenness of the world and Christ as the hope and the solution. 

4. Show kids how to give
Since giving is completely digital through our NCF donor-advised fund (DAF), our two young sons don’t necessarily “see” my wife Jacqie and me making donations. So we talk with them to help them learn about generosity and the stewardship mandate in Genesis 2 (to be a steward of creation on God’s behalf). We translated our NCF Strategic Fund Review into a conversation about where our money goes. Next, we set up a “family business meeting” to teach entrepreneurship. The boys earn a salary based on doing their chores with opportunities to make commission. We have monthly meetings to discuss their earnings and how it will be allocated within our jar system: SAVE 15%, INVEST 15%, GIVE 15%, and SPEND 55%. Jacqie and I commit to matching whatever they place in the GIVE jar. Seeing their generosity in action is so fun to watch! 

5. Give teens the gift of generosity
An easy way to introduce your kids or grandkids to charitable giving is to set up a DAF on their behalf. It can be as easy as a fund-to-fund transfer. An NCF fund can serve as a meaningful high school graduation or wedding present, or simply as a way to start a conversation around generosity. NCF serves as the “bowling alley bumpers” or peace of mind that the funds will be stewarded well, while giving kids the opportunity to explore how they want to use the money. Talk with them about the “why” around your family giving strategy and include them in the process. Use our Giving Strategy Guidebook to help them learn about the organization (or type of organizations) they’re passionate about. 

6. Let children see you pray
As we think about generosity, the best thing we want to give the children in our lives is the hope that is found in Christ. I recently realized that although my boys know I work with ministries, they don’t actively see me spending time in God’s Word because they’re still asleep. Consequently, I started “Verses with Daddy,” using John Piper’s Look at the Book. I pick one to three verses from my daily reading and expound on them with my boys as daily as possible. While I’m traveling or as they grow and go to college, we can meet over video chat. Another great place to start is to sit down together and review our 10 principles of biblical generosity.

As believers, God provides us limitless provision of overflowing, life-sustaining water (capital) within our well to be spent for His glory and the joy of His children. My question for you is this: Do the children in your life see you tapping into it? Or do they witness you trying to sustain yourself from a shallow mud hole?

By modeling a life rooted in the Bible, we can teach our teens and kids now how to be generous in a God-honoring way. Whether the children in your life are 8 or 18, it’s never too late to engage them about intentional living that leads with joy and generosity.