For many, stewardship is mostly about money. But for Tom and Mary Vande Guchte, monetary giving is just one part of the generous life. Find out how this Raleigh, North Carolina couple has built a “generosity triangle” shaped by three pillars: time, talent, and treasure. And consider how you might do the same.
The precious gift of time
Tom and Mary were raised in traditional Dutch communities in Wisconsin and Michigan. Neither of them grew up in a wealthy family, but when they got married, they made a pivotal choice together that would shape their lifelong journey to embrace generosity in all its forms.
“I was working as a CPA at the time, and my salary was about $16,000,” Tom says. “But we made the decision that first year of marriage that Mary wouldn’t work outside our home unless she wanted to, and that we wouldn’t create a lifestyle that required her to bring in additional income.”
With this commitment, Mary was free to invest her time in ways that busier people often can’t afford. She soon found her first opportunity at church. “We had just made this decision when we learned about a gentleman whose wife, Loie, was suffering from multiple sclerosis,” Mary says. “He needed someone to care for her five days a week, from 8:00 to 5:00, so he could go to work.” Unlike many others around her, Mary was available to help.
Mary spent three years with Loie before she passed away, and they became very dear friends. “She had an incredible sense of humor, and she was a very good cook,” Mary says. “She actually gave me a passion for cooking that I’ve enjoyed all these years. It was a tremendous gift.”
When Tom and Mary’s kids were in high school, another opportunity to offer the gift of time arose. One of their teachers suffered a massive heart attack and passed away. And they learned that his wife, Gail, had just given birth three months earlier to their eighth child.
“I couldn’t imagine how overwhelming that had to feel,” Mary says. “So, I drove over to their home with the wonderful lasagna Loie had taught me how to make. And when Gail opened the door, I just saw the weight of her situation.”
“I didn’t even plan this. But God put it on my heart to offer to come every Thursday and just be available to clean, grocery shop, and watch her baby so she could sleep. That lasagna has led to 16 years of relationship not only between Gail and me, but also our families. We went bowling together and spent Christmases and Thanksgivings together.”
Mary has shared the gift of her time in many ways, from serving on the board of charities and mentoring women to teaching music-therapy classes at a local homeless shelter and leading choirs at church – in addition to raising five children!
The invaluable gift of talent
During the course of their 44-year marriage, Tom and Mary have been involved in a variety of ministries. But their real passion and gift is inspiring generosity in others.
“I’m doing this class now,” Tom says. “And one of the videos I saw was about how generosity is one of the spiritual gifts, just like evangelism and all those things. Whether it’s at home, in church, in our office furniture business, or anything else, we feel called to inspire generosity.”
In the past 10 years, they’ve hosted and facilitated more than 20 Journey of Generosity events, or JOGs – weekend retreats that have brought hundreds of people together to talk about biblical generosity and share life-changing stories of radical giving. Currently, Mary is leading the effort to start Generosity Triangle, a ministry to promote generosity in the Triangle area of Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill in North Carolina through the joyful living and giving of Christ followers.
Through a pilot program with Generous Classroom, Generosity Triangle has helped spread this joyful giving to several local schools through curriculum that helps elementary students learn how they can be generous with their thoughts, words, money, time, attention, influence, and belongings. Teachers say classroom culture has been transformed, and they shared this story as an inspiring example:
“Last week during carpool, several elementary students were buying treats from the high school entrepreneurial business. One student noticed that three of his friends were not buying a treat. When he discovered that they forgot their money, he generously gave a dollar to each of them from his own wallet. During their generosity class meeting, a student honored him for being generous . . . not only with his money but also with his attention!”
The sacrificial gift of treasure
As the CEO of a successful office furniture dealership that he purchased in 1992, Tom decided from the very beginning that he would operate the company according to biblical principles and seek to inspire a culture of generosity in the workplace.
When COVID hit in 2020, Tom and Mary had the chance to put those principles into practice in a big way. They decided to use all their income that year to support ministries with resources they knew would be scarce as a result of the pandemic.
“We didn’t know how difficult it would be for our business,” Tom says. “But we thought it was really going to be tough for the non-profit world, not only here in the U.S. but especially internationally. Since we do about 60 percent of our giving internationally, we really felt God impressing us to give 100 percent of our income to his work in 2020.”
The result of their commitment was beyond anything they could have imagined. “God has really blessed our business over the last 30 years,” Tom says. “But keep in mind, we’re an office furniture business in the midst of COVID, and offices around the country are shutting down.”
“So, what do you think happened in the year that we made the commitment to give 100 percent of our income and COVID is going on?” he asks. “We had the best year ever in the history of our company.”
Tom and Mary felt God calling them to use these resources to help propel the work of a water project that they were part of in Rwanda. So, they approached the project leaders and told them they wanted to make their largest grant ever as a matching gift.
“Of course, they were pretty excited,” Tom says. The charity planned a virtual event, and Tom and Mary took part in it. The goal for the evening was to raise 75 percent of the match. “By the end of the event, one family pledged a match equal to ours. And others called in and joined online in various ways. So, almost four times our match was raised that evening! That was such a fun night to see God show up.”
In 2021, Tom and Mary stepped out in faith again to offer another matching gift for the same amount. This time, 10 times their match was raised. “Enough was raised to provide 280,000 people with clean water for their entire life, plus be exposed to the gospel message,” Mary says.
Now, almost all of Tom and Mary’s large gifts are made as matching grants. And they specify that they’ll only match gifts from new or lapsed donors, or increased gifts from existing donors. “We want to give a ministry a tool to help them broaden their donor base and also deepen their relationship with current donors,” Tom says.
Continuing to steward wisely
The couple’s business has continued to flourish against all odds in a post-COVID world, and their commitment to give generously is stronger than ever. To help them steward their resources wisely, Tom and Mary work closely with their National Christian Foundation team in the Carolinas and use a Giving Fund (donor-advised fund) at NCF to manage all their giving.
“I was a financial guy, and I found the whole concept of a donor-advised fund to be a home run,” Tom says. “It’s so great that you get to put the money in and then distribute it. Not only that, it also makes it so much easier from an administrative standpoint. All I do is go online and recommend a grant. I did one this morning, and it only took me a minute.”
“We’ve also made a few complex gifts. We’ve donated a couple of buildings, and we have also donated our private stock from our current company. NCF has really played a tremendous role in helping us maximize our charitable giving. Without them, we would not have been able to give to the level we’re giving. It just wouldn’t have worked.”
What do the three pillars of the generosity triangle look like for you?
As givers called to inspire generosity, Tom and Mary say their story would not be complete without encouraging those who read it to build their own generosity triangles as God leads. Here are some questions to help you reflect on how you want time, talent, and treasure to shape your giving journey.
- The gift of time is one of your most precious resources, but it’s often the hardest asset to give
You may not have the choice about work that Mary had, but what choices do you have about the way you spend your time? Are there any time commitments in your life or your family schedule that could be rescheduled so you can invest more deeply in the lives of others? - The gift of your talent is an important resource often overlooked when it comes to generosity
Even if you feel like you don’t have much to offer, the Bible says, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us” (Romans 12:6). What life experiences, knowledge, wisdom, work skills, spiritual gifts, relationships, and influence have you gained that could be used to help others? If given the opportunity, what talent would you love to share? - The gift of your treasure can be a key indicator of your relationship with God
“Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). If you carefully examined your bank account, what would it say about what captured your heart (and your wallet)? How can you use your resources to encourage others to be more generous such as offering a matching gift?
Contact your NCF team to learn more about stewarding your resources wisely.
Photo: Tom and Mary Vande Guchte
