Many parents spend considerable time and money developing wills, trusts, and estate plans. But according to NCF’s David Wills, true preparation for wealth transfer requires something deeper: unity of purpose and heart.
Over the last 30 years, David has helped hundreds of families navigate inheritance challenges, and he’s developed some keen insight on this topic.
“Being truly prepared isn’t just about legal documents and financial plans – though these are important,” David says. “Fundamentally, it’s about nurturing hearts that understand wealth as a sacred trust and cultivating family unity around God’s purposes for the resources he’s entrusted to them.”
Here are five practical ways to help bring your family together before it’s time to transfer your wealth:
1. Develop a family mission statement
One of the best ways to begin your wealth transfer journey is by working through a process that allows your family to articulate shared values and create a mission statement grounded in Scripture. This foundational process helps everyone understand the “why” behind wealth decisions and establishes guardrails for future choices.
According to the National Christian Foundation’s (NCF) recent Next Gen Stewardship research report, 72 percent of Next Gen Inheritors are still waiting to fully understand their role in their family’s wealth transfer, which makes these conversations more critical than ever.
To help with this process, the Legacy Guide from NCF’s Giving Strategy™ experience has creative exercises to help you clarify your family’s values. And the Causes & Passions Guide can help you clarify where God may be calling you to give.
2. Practice generational generosity
“One of the most powerful ways to pass spiritual and character capital along with financial capital is by practicing generosity together as a family,” David says.
You can involve your children and grandchildren in giving decisions, establish regular giving traditions, like these 10 ways to share generosity with your family, or use your Giving Fund to help everyone participate in the actual grantmaking process.
This hands-on approach resonates deeply with next-generation givers. Our research found that 86 percent of them prefer supporting local causes, where they can see the impact firsthand. And 79 percent want to be personally involved with the ministries and charities they support – not just financially, but through their time, talents, and relationships.
3. Have conversations about “wise” vs. “equal”
David encourages families to think differently about distribution amounts. “It’s not about what is fair, but what is wise,” he says. “Ask yourself, ‘Will my children and grandchildren need our money, and will they use it wisely?’”
Treating each heir according to their individual circumstances may be more loving than strictly equal distributions. Whichever path you’re considering, it’s important to communicate these decisions during your lifetime, with prayer and perhaps professional facilitation. “I always recommend families have faith-aligned advisors surrounding them,” he says.
At NCF, we’ve witnessed many families discover that open-hearted discussions can lead to positive outcomes. Sometimes heirs will voluntarily suggest receiving less to benefit siblings with different needs or to increase kingdom giving. David shares a powerful example: “I was in a family meeting, and the oldest child said, ‘Take me out. I have more than I need …. Whatever you were going to pass to me, give it away.’”
When heirs are part of the conversation, the matriarch and patriarch of the family can gain a greater understanding of those coming after them. This almost always leads to greater wisdom in the decision-making process.
4. Give while you’re living
David believes there’s great wisdom in transferring resources while you’re still living. “There are three uses of money: give, save, and spend,” he says. “You can be involved in coming alongside your heirs in all three of these. Give together. Invest together. Spend together.”
He recommends starting with small amounts to see how they respond and staying involved to offer encouragement and guidance. This approach allows you to experience the joy of seeing how your heirs steward resources and creates opportunities for discipleship and shared celebration.
NCF’s research revealed that those who have had a voice at the table and opportunities to practice faithful stewardship and decision-making have some important traits. They develop more positive views about wealth, feel a deeper connection to their family, and experience generosity and stewardship as a personal calling rather than an obligation.
5. Gather for regular family experiences
Creating a rhythm of family experiences is one of the most powerful practices for building unity. You can use these times to engage in prayer and reflection, recount family stories that demonstrate your family’s values, discuss generosity and family stewardship, and address family-related decisions in a spirit of love.
“These activities elevate the experience over the standard family meeting,” David says. If you do decide to have traditional family meetings, David suggests that you may want to have a trusted Christian financial advisor to help facilitate discussions that might otherwise become emotionally charged.
“It is also essential to elevate the voices of women in our families,” he says. Our research showed that 96 percent of Next Gen Christian women feel a deep sense of responsibility related to wealth, with 74 percent feeling a burden to steward it wisely. Yet 39 percent of these young women said they feel they don’t have a voice in family financial decisions. This matters greatly, as women are increasingly managing more wealth and are often the primary nurturers of generosity in the next generation.
The enduring joy of generosity
“As believers, we’re called to steward not just our finances, but the relationships God has given us,” David says. “Bringing our children into these conversations is an act of love and discipleship.”
When families approach the stewarding and transferring of wealth with humility, unity, and a shared commitment to God’s purposes, wealth becomes less about money and assets. It becomes a legacy of love and faith.
And that’s a treasure nothing can destroy.
Connect with your NCF team for more ideas about wise wealth transfer.
