Perspective

What are you waiting for?

It’s one of many phrases in English with a double meaning. Often used as a prod for people who need to get started, it can also be the question we continually ask ourselves to keep us going in the dry years. Once we know for sure what we’re waiting for, we can put up with almost anything.

We love dreamers and visionaries. We love the people who never, ever, ever give up but persevere and, in spite of all the obstacles, manage to turn that dream into reality. There could not be a better time in history for people like this. Dream. Run with it. Make it happen.

But what happens if your dream languishes for decades? What happens when we are tempted to forget what we are waiting for? That question reminds me of the stillborn dream of Caleb in the Old Testament. There is no better example of an ambitious and determined dreamer.

What happens to a dream that languishes for decades? What happens when we are tempted to forget what we are waiting for?

Most often we think of Caleb as one of the 12 spies who secretly explored Canaan and returned with the report that it was an exceedingly good land, and with God’s protection there was no reason not to take it in spite of the giants.

However, out of fear (and as a result of 10 other spies filing a false report), the people demanded new leadership that would take them back to what was familiar. Back to slavery. And then worse, they voted unanimously to stone Joshua and Caleb to death.

How does Caleb react to the rejection of his report? Does he strike off on his own and wash his hands of Israel? Does he become a burr under the saddle and a cynical critic constantly reminding them of their failure to risk? Does he stir up a revolution? No, none of these.

Caleb, God says, has a different spirit than the rest.

Faithful to unfaithful people

It’s easy to skip ahead 45 years and see Caleb as the old man of 85 who has never forgotten the dream of taking down giants. Waiting until everyone else has been assigned their land, Caleb reminds Joshua of the promise of Hebron to his family: “I am still as strong today as I was in the day Moses sent me; my strength now is as my strength was then.”

These are the images we most often have of Caleb. First, the young spy and then the old man as a giant killer. But for me, the characteristic of Caleb I most admire is illustrated by the distance between those two events: 45 years.

His life is one of unyielding fidelity – the essence of his different spirit and what it meant to follow fully. Caleb is faithful not only to God but also to unfaithful people.

He wanders with the Israelites for the better part of his life in total obscurity, and he is never mentioned again for the 40 years they are in the wilderness. He fights their battles and puts up with their complaints, grumbling, cowardice, rebellions, and faithlessness. Caleb watches a whole generation needlessly die from disease, mass catastrophe, and monumental losses. But he stays. He shares their punishment. He is always faithful. He knows what he is waiting for.

Remaining faithful may often mean a long time wandering with fearful, angry and unpleasant people who would rather see you dead – but you do it anyway. In a way, Caleb’s sentence is worse than theirs because the Israelites deserved it. He lived with the dream of one day killing giants while they lived the rest of their lives content with failure and longing for what used to be.

He lived with the dream of one day killing giants while they lived the rest of their lives content with failure and longing for what used to be.

Nobody stays with such losers – but Caleb did. Nobody sacrifices their future for this, but Caleb did because he had a different spirit. It was a spirit that enabled him not only to be unafraid of the consequences of telling the truth or having the courage to ask for the hardest assignments. It was the spirit that allowed him the freedom from the fear of wasting his life on undeserving people. For me, that is what is most remarkable about him.

He knew what he was waiting for.

What are your waiting for?

Photo: Fred Smith

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