Mothers play a huge role in creating the environment for growth in their children’s lives. They often bear most of the weight of nurturing, feeding, and teaching their children. But the results of new research from Barna Group show they’re struggling, particularly when it comes to transferring their faith to the next generation, and the church is missing the opportunity to support them in meaningful ways.
The study, produced in partnership with The MomCo (formerly MOPS International), shares that churches and organizations that empower and partner with mothers have much to gain by doing so. Not only are moms the primary disciplers of the next generation and often the ones who decide about family church attendance and giving, they also play a critical role in the outreach and growth of churches.
So, what’s the problem? A 2022 study from the American Bible Society revealed that, after the COVID pandemic, American mothers with children at home were collectively at a record-low level of Bible engagement. And Barna’s new research says women tend to become less involved at church after becoming mothers. And almost half of Christian moms told Barna their church never provides them with materials to help support them as a mother. Another 18 percent said their church only does so rarely. Is this perception accurate?
Well, only one in 10 U.S. pastors strongly agrees that their church prioritizes mothers, and most pastors said that their church either never offers materials for mothers or does so less than every six months.
Fewer than half of moms agree that their pastors prioritize mothers’ emotional well-being or prioritize mothers in general. But, when most are men, how can pastors stay connected with the emotions of people who have a different set of life experiences than they do?
Passing faith to a younger generation is among the greatest evangelical opportunities we have, and if women who so often bear the responsibility of this sacred calling need help, the whole body of Christ must be ready to respond.
A mother’s critical role
Why is a mother’s role so important? Earlier research from Barna detailed the importance of a mother’s role in child faith development. This is due, in no small part, to the number of hours moms spend with their children (specifically teenagers) in routine activities like conversations and confrontations, talking about faith and God, and eating meals together. It’s no wonder that, when asked who they would go to with questions about faith, about 90 percent of Christians teens said it was their mom.
However, stress levels, mental health, and well-being all play into a person’s ability to help others. And when 56 percent of moms say their stress level increased during the pandemic, and 82 percent of mothers agree that being a mother is harder today than ever before, opportunities abound for churches to help provide the encouragement, support, and resources moms need.
The Bible isn’t silent on the subject. Paul told Titus to encourage the older women in the churches to take moms under their wing (Titus 2:4-5). He wrote the Galatian church and told them to “carry each other’s burdens and [in doing so] fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). In fact, he said the entire law was fulfilled when we love our neighbors as ourselves (Galatians 5:14).
And who is more our neighbor than a mom, charged with raising the next generation of faith in a climate that is growing more hostile to Christianity?
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
– Galatians 6:2
So, what kind of support do they need? And, considering their important role in children’s faith development, what is the church’s responsibility in spiritually replenishing mothers and providing them with the space and the resources necessary to instill an authentic, lasting faith in their children?
What mothers need
Considering the age-old adage, “It takes a village to raise a child,” it should come as no surprise that community was at the top of what mothers said they needed from their church. When Christian moms were asked what about the church they were most satisfied with, it wasn’t the worship or sermons; the clear favorite (63 percent) was the small group ministry – community.
On the other end of the spectrum, Christian mothers said they were least satisfied with the lack of mental health and emotional support they received from their churches. Motherhood is a challenging role that requires a specific type of care, and with anxiety and other mental-health issues on the rise, moms may be looking for direction to professional services.
But before you drop everything to build a ministry just for moms, note that only 15 percent of women said they liked “mothers’ ministry” at their church. They need support from the whole body of Christ and not to be separated out from those who are not in the same life stage as they are.
While the church, at its core, is all about providing valuable community, very few churches focus specifically on mothers in planning their groups or services. While childcare during church service – something only one in three mothers said is provided by their church – is helpful, it’s not a mother-specific resource. And, often, mothers are expected to serve in these spaces rather than attending church service.
When asked, here are the things mothers said were potentially life-changing resources their churches could provide:
- Small groups that connect mothers in similar life stages and meet outside of work hours, accommodating all types of mothers
- Parenting workshops that provide opportunities to learn from and develop friendships with those in their church community
- Mentoring programs between older and younger moms
- Regular counseling (with childcare) to support mothers’ mental health
- Weekday childcare for working moms
One of the most positive findings in the study was that Christian moms are more likely than non-Christian to have a confidant (84% of Christian moms versus 73% non-Christian). And when they have a person in their life they can talk to, they feel more free. The difference between those with a confidant and those who didn’t was surprisingly positive.
The value of mothers in community
The church is a community. Scripture tells us we are one body of Christ and individually members of one another (Romans 12:5). If moms in our church are struggling, we, as a church are struggling. And the faith of the next generation is on the line. So it’s critical that we pay attention to the moms in our congregations and become familiar with their needs. We must prioritize providing them with support and supportive environments.
If you’re a church leader, consider pulling together a focus group of mothers who will help you determine the specific needs of moms in your church. If you’re involved in your local church and want to see it thrive, consider asking your church leadership how you can help implement some programs for mothers. If you’re a mother of older children, offer to mentor a younger mom. And if you’re a young mom yourself or director of a children’s ministry and already see these needs frequently, make these needs known, and seek out community.
While reaching out to this large group of people might be costly and time-consuming for a congregation (especially if you haven’t ever tried before), every church and churchgoer benefits greatly from the investment in mothers’ ministries. Because when we create a supportive community for mothers, we win the hearts of whole households and future generations.
How will you and your church share with mothers in raising the next generation of believers?
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
– 1 John 3:18
